Steph Shyu
ABOUT
The What
I focus on the team as an extension of the individuals and the relationships that make up the system. My process is founded on developing better, more authentic expression and communication skills to drive more intentional and purposeful conversations. From there, I work with teams to develop better feedback and conflict management models; implement diversity, equity, inclusion & accessibility (DEIA) initiatives; and integrate mindfulness-based management techniques and team building for long-term systems-level change.
The How
My methodology draws from my background leading and facilitating in the following disciplines:
- NTL Institute (NTL.org) Training Groups popularized at Stanford University GSB through its Interpersonal Dynamics course.
- Authentic Relating Training (authenticrelating.co).
- Mindfulness practices that draw from Insight Meditation, the Dzogchen lineage, and yogic traditions.
- 200-hour RYT in Vinyasa and Restorative yoga (stephshyu.yoga).
- Assessments: FIRO-B, ESCI, Implicit Association Test (IAT), etc.
The Why
I'm driven by purposeful and authentic connections. In U.S. schools and workplaces, we rarely have the chance to practice developing our relational communication skills in real time because the stakes are so high (think: giving feedback to your boss or addressing unspoken tension). Without developing a shared communication model, we miss opportunities to deepen our bonds, create more robust and just communities, and underutilize our own potential. I envision a world in which our systems are committed to normalizing having tough conversations. What would it be like if all of us practiced speaking and listening from a place of authenticity, curiosity, empathy and respect?
My Credentials
I have a background in education, the tech startup world, serving as an advisor to startup leaders and nonprofits, and mindfulness-based facilitation.
Degrees:
- Executive Certificate in Diversity, Equity & Inclusion, Georgetown University's Institute of Transformational Leadership
- JD and Certificate in Business Economics & Public Policy, University of Pennsylvania Law School & The Wharton School
- BA in Public Policy, Journalism & Media, and Markets Management, Duke University
Select writings
Authenticity in the American Workplace
Why most companies are not ready for your authentic self
I remember my parents giving me a talk when I was entering the white collar workforce as an intern in the early 2000s. There were a lot of rules--rules that dictated professionalism--such as how to dress, how to address superiors, how to respond to emails, how to show initiative, how to demonstrate being a team player, how to fit in.
I remember pushing back really hard when my mom informed me I needed to learn how to do my makeup for a professional setting. I didn’t see how makeup had any relevance to capability or professionalism, but she insisted that it was necessary to demonstrate competence, self-respect and poise. I still didn’t get it, but gritted my teeth and started wearing a little eye makeup, which I noticed helped me look more alert and less tired.
It took me a while to figure out why my mom’s advice to wear makeup was so grating on my sense of self. Aside from the obviously gendered and problematic expectations about how men and women should show up in the corporate world, the directive to wear makeup translated into the message that, to be taken seriously, I needed to present a more polished and more palatable version of myself. The implication being that the unadorned, uncurated version of me may be inadequate... with the ultimate question being: by whose standards?
---
We’ve made some progress since my internship days to be less proscriptive and more inclusive of various expressions of self. But the idea of being able to bring your authentic self into the workplace is still one that is heavily privileged. In the US, that privilege primarily rests with White, cis-gender men from middle to upper class socioeconomic backgrounds.
Having spent time in the law firm and tech startup worlds (and having held jobs in other industries that are also heavily White male dominated), I’ve experienced the othering that takes place when you’re not inherently a member of the group calling the shots as well as the insidious pressure and desire to mold yourself enough to be accepted by the in-group and find safety in the herd. As a member of a marginalized group (e.g., BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, disability, neurodivergence, etc.), it may not feel safe to bring your full self into an environment that centers historically dominant identities.
As Jodi-Ann Burey elucidates in her TEDxTalk “The myth of bringing your full, authentic self to work,” the task to be authentic “privileges those who are already part of the dominant culture. It is much easier to be who you are when who you are is all around you. Coming just as we are when we’re the first, the only, the different or one of the few can prove too risky. So we wear the costume. We keep the truer parts of ourselves hidden. We straighten our curly hair for interviews. We pick up hobbies we do not enjoy. We restate our directives as optional suggestions. We talk about the weather instead of police brutality. We mourn for Breonna Taylor alone. We ignore the racist comments our supervisor makes, we stop correcting our mispronounced names. We ask fewer questions. We learn to say nothing and smile. We omit parts of our stories. We erase parts of ourselves. Our histories and present reality show this to be the best path for success.”
It’s unsurprising that our existing systems that prioritize cohesion over highlighting differences, in subtle and unsubtle ways, suppress authentic expression. When the goal of a workplace is to create a consistent culture, it has traditionally meant adhering to the status quo and maintaining the culture of the boys’ club (this typically also means a White, patriarchal, heternormative-centered experience). Those who enter the game defined by this exclusive boys’ club have historically adapted to be White male-adjacent or decided to cover their identities. It’s impossible to address authenticity in the workplace without addressing how race and gender and marginalized identities play into the conversation.... [Read on]
